The Importance of Using Emotional Intelligence in Our Daily Lives

October is designated as National Emotional Intelligence Awareness Month. Emotional Intelligence, or EI, refers to the ability to perceive, manage, and evaluate emotions. Some experts argue that EI or Emotional Quotient (EQ) is more important than Intelligence Quotient (IQ), in our overall success in life. Daniel Goleman, a psychologist, popularized this concept in his 1995 book, "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ."

The four components of Emotional Intelligence 

In his book, Goleman outlined these four components of EQ:

·        Self-management – Is the ability to manage emotions in a healthy manner during situations/circumstances. This can help one avoid being irrational and acting on impulsive feelings, actions, and behavior.

·        Self-awareness – Is the ability to recognize and process your own emotions and be cognizant of how your emotions affect your thoughts and behavior.

·        Social awareness – Is the ability to be aware of and understand the emotions, needs, and concerns of other people. This involves having empathy and being able to pick up on someone’s physical and facial cues. Think of “reading the room” or “putting yourself in someone’s shoes.”

·        Relationship management – Is the ability to develop, maintain, and nurture healthy relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict to achieve desired results.

Tips to improve and regulate Emotional Intelligence

Developing your EQ takes practice and can always evolve with time and experience. Some tips that can help improve and regulate EI include:

·        Practice mindfulness

·        Listen to understand

·        Practice empathizing with other people

·        Take time to reflect and process emotions. Journaling can help with this.

·        Nurture healthy relationships 

·        Be respectful of other people’s feelings

·        Establish healthy personal and professional boundaries

·        Establish a consistent self-care routine. Melanin Queen Cards can help with this.

The importance of incorporating Emotional Intelligence in our daily lives

Emotional Intelligence can impact all aspects of our lives, from workplace relationships, and family life to intimate relationships. As Black women, with factors working against us (being Black and female), we are usually put at a disadvantage, especially in the workplace. We often experience co-workers questioning our abilities and knowledge, being mistaken as aggressive, and facing microaggressions — so managing our emotions in a healthy manner is crucial.  

When it comes to personal relationships, we as Black women are often looked to be the strong ones and carry the weight to keep family and relationships intact. This can come at a cost – dismissing our emotions. Remember to take time to process and honor your emotions, set healthy boundaries, and create a space to be vulnerable to keep yourself thriving emotionally and mentally.

Don’t think you have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Melanin Queen Creative is committed to uplifting women, especially women of color, through creative products that foster self-awareness, sisterhood, and personal growth.